I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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