i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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