and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
