a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Small penises have feelings too.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
