idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
