Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
