I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
nutella sex= disaster
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
