So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
