How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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