he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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