Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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