I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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