I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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