She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
