Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
