You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
