A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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