I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
