If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
