Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
