I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
being pregnant is like rehab
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
