glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize