I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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