dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
