at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just found puke in my bra..
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
