Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
