fuck your aforementioned shoe
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
