lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
