Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
