Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
