just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
