Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
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