I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
