Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize