I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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