I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize