Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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