i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
