How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
If its not for food we ain't going out.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
