It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
