Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
