Too much gin, very little bucket
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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