her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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