just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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