We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
third nipple confirmed
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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