He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Randomize
