It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
