Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i think my cat just said my name.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
