he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
