I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
