Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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