Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
