I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
