he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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