i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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