we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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