in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
