he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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