Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize