Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
