Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
