I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
