My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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