on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
