Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
