im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
